I Am The Cool

I'm the one your mama warned you about

When you see me, I will leave you no doubt

I'm the coolest man that ever walked this earth

I've been the coolest since the day of my birth

I am the cool

 

I drive a little red sports car, as you plainly can see

Them young girls, I can't keep 'em away from me

You know Rhianna? Well I saw her yesterday

Had too many women so I pushed her away

Walked into the Waldorf Hotel in New York City

There were 72 women there just waiting for me

Just one problem with all these women so fine:

So many of them, so little time

I am the cool

 

I wear the coolest clothes that ever could be

I look so good even Calvin Klein stares at me

Red bands on my hat, a glass of chavvers in my hand

One look at me and the little girls understand

Someone come up with a gun to steal the rolex off my wrist

Two seconds later he was down with one blow of my fist

I dragged his sorry ass to the town in the middle of the day

I hung him up on a flagpole with a sign, "Don't mess with Randy J"

I am the cool

 

The finest restaurants, well they all know me by my name

They gave me the best table and send everyone else away

Pheasant under glass, lobster and steak tartar

Finished it off with a fine cuban cigar

Headed on back home to my penthouse suite

With a fine young lady who's good enough to eat

She feeds me grapes and cheese and opens a Dom Perignon

We made love until the night time's gone

 

I am the cool

Frozen

Cold

Icicles on the toes

I am the cool

I'm winter

I'm a blizzard